just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Hippo gnu deer
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
