if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize