Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
