Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
