I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
