Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
