Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
