I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
