Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
