And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
