How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
