Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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