my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
