You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
