He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
