Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
