I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
