he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
