I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
