How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
