You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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