He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
