There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
