In the future we'll all be gay
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
