my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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