jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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