dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i dont even know how to be here
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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