i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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