Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
