I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think i have herpe
just one?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
