so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
