i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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