Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
