I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize