Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
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