he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
