too bad you live with your parents still
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize