do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
