He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
