Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just google imaged poop.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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