Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
