Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
