I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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