he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
