Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
