Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
