If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
