I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He felt like a one man threesome
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
