Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you had me at cake vodka
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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