Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
