I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
