Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
