You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
