Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
