p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We smell like vodka and hangover
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