so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
