hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
