yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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