What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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