wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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