whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Randomize
