So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
