Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize